Clarity, Part 3: NIVEA

Speaking and listening may seem like opposites, but they have more in common than you think. 💭

Yesterday, I said it loud and clear:

Close your mouth and open your ears!

The speaker has their role, and the listener has theirs.

But here’s the thing—whether you’re sending or receiving, some of the same rules apply:

🔸 Stick to your own perspective.

🔹 Stay objective…

🔸 …until it’s the right time (or you’re given permission) to share personal interpretations.

Forming judgments is okay—prejudging is not.

❗This is especially critical in conflict situations.❗

If we’re already working with LOVE (see my last post)...

Let’s add some NIVEA into the mix:

❎ Niet Invullen Voor Een Ander (Don’t Assume for Someone Else).

As the speaker:

➡ Speak from your own perspective:

✅ Share the facts as you see them.

✅ Explain how it made you feel.

✅ Describe the experience from your point of view.

And in conflict situations:

✅ Specify how you’d like things to be different.

Don’t leave things out or add to your story just because you think it sounds “weird” or you’re worried the listener might “get the wrong idea.”

If you’re struggling to explain, feel free to admit that too.

As the listener:

➡ During LISTENING 💙

✅ Hear what’s being said without jumping to conclusions.

➡ During OBSERVING 💚

✅ Pay attention to tone, word choice, and body language.

✅ Store this information for later steps.

➡ During VALIDATING 💛

✅ Check what you think you’ve heard and seen before interpreting.

✅ Ask for clarification if needed.

➡ During ENCOURAGING 🧡

✅ Encourage the speaker to share more.

✅ Ask if there’s anything you can do to help.

What don’t you see here?

In short: don’t assume for them.

One more thing:

If you’ve actively listened and want to share your perspective:

➡ Always ask for permission first!

Try something like:

“Are you open to hearing my thoughts on this?”

“Would you like me to brainstorm with you or offer advice?”

And if the answer is “no,” respect that.

Nivea for Clarity...

Have I missed anything?

Drop your thoughts in the comments!